Log in

No account? Create an account
Emerald Embers [userpic]
Fic: Learning to Share (Axel/Roxas, Axel/Sora)
by Emerald Embers (emerald_embers)
at October 18th, 2007 (09:46 pm)

Title: Learning to Share
Author: emerald_embers
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Underage yaoi.
Word count: 2420
Summary: It's weird, like any three-way relationship should be.
Disclaimer: Non-profit fanfiction, this lot aren't mine.

It couldn't be healthy, his letting Roxas walk around in his body from time to time, but the alternative was unbearable. Sora didn't want to see Roxas forgotten - even though the other boy was technically part of him it was obvious in every single other way that they were different people. Sora could imagine being forgotten and the idea upset him; and since Axel had basically...

It seemed wrong to say died, but wrong not to. Sacrificed was the only medium that could mean disappeared while carrying the weight of 'died'. Axel had sacrificed himself for them and it was the very least he could do to make sure both of them kept existing and kept Axel's memory alive. Whatever the red-haired man had been for the Organisation, whatever he had been in his life beforehand, the dark parts stopped mattering in the end because Axel had felt. Even if his heart had to have gone for him to be able to exist, he'd topped the achievements of all the other Nobodies by having a genuine feeling.

Sharing Sora's heart had made Roxas mellow a bit, but he'd become sadder for it too. Sad that he'd never shared a feeling with Axel or been able to - if only they'd been able to have hearts, without destroying themselves or stealing someone else's, if only...

Sora knew that whatever Roxas felt wasn't the sort of love he was used to. He knew friendship love, knew it well - knew familial love, and the almost desperate love for friends who may as well be soul mates - but with a heart and his memories, Roxas' love for Axel was different to all that. It was kind of embarrassing to see memories of Roxas and Axel doing things he'd only started thinking about recently, remembering Axel's naked back and bowed head, a hand on his wall for balance and one - one elsewhere, and Sora wasn't supposed to think about that but the sounds Axel made did weird things to his insides. Roxas hadn't really felt at the time, but that had changed now and he wanted to do it again, to kiss Axel in the middle of everything and say "I love you" and mean it.

Axel's being gone wasn't fair, not to Roxas, and while Sora felt weird thinking about anything like what they'd done he was sure he'd find someone he wanted to do those things with someday. He wasn't so sure that even if Roxas were in full control of his body that Roxas would be able to find someone else. And he'd enjoyed things at the time, just not in the sort of way he wanted to now.

It was so easy like this to see how darkness could creep into people's hearts - holding onto that feeling of life being unfair hurt but was almost natural to do.

The first time he'd seen out of place shadows in the corner of his eyes he'd thought little of it - had more or less assumed it was just his imagination, even if it had left him feeling tense and apprehensive. The second time was enough to have him scour the area with his keyblade, hoping and hoping that it wasn't another heartless, Saix's words still resounding with him and freaking him out even now, weeks later.

Still, he'd nearly leapt out of his skin when black gloved hands slipped around his waist from behind and pulled him into a hug. "You remembered me. I'm flattered."

Sora yelped before turning in - in - yeah, they were Axel's arms, they were quite real, and what was going on?

"I'm as surprised as you, trust me," Axel replied with a grin that Sora honestly couldn't identify as either meaning 'yep, I'm telling the truth' or 'trusting me is pretty much the last thing you should do, ever'. "A witch like Maleficent I understand but... guess you must've really missed me, huh, kid?"

Sora was pretty much still hung up on staring, open-mouthed, and fighting the tears that he was about ninety percent certain were Roxas' responsibility. And even if he knew full well that doing so was a seriously bad idea, Roxas was nudging him for a chance to come to the surface and Sora couldn't conscientiously say no.

Honestly, he hadn't expected to wake up a day later underneath Axel on his couch. At least he wasn't naked, even if it was pretty unsettling to open his eyes while Axel's face was inches above his. "Huh?"

"Sora?" Axel looked as surprised as he felt. A little suspicious as well, as if he wasn't entirely convinced this wasn't a weird trick Roxas was playing on him.

"Uh huh," Sora replied, sitting up as soon as Axel gave him enough room and folding his hands between his legs because, even if he wasn't naked, Roxas' enjoyment of whatever he and Axel had been up to was pretty evident. "Did you say something wrong?"

"We weren't talking," Axel replied with a grin edging away from confused into lascivious. "Maybe he thinks we should get better acquainted?"

Okay, so the residual effects of Roxas taking over meant his body was quite happy with that idea, and - ooh, oh, Axel was, apparently, a very good kisser, but still, this - no.

Sora pushed Axel back, huffing at his own reluctance to do so. "I - I don't really mind Roxas borrowing me," and that was still true, even if words over this would be happening later, "But I don't really know you that well and it's... weird."

Axel shrugged before sitting back on his haunches, and oh, looked like he had enjoyed things too. "So what's there to do around here?"

Sora scratched the back of his head. "I've got some games and there's always the beach if - if Kairi and Riku aren't around." Oops, hadn't given a minute's thought to how he was going to break the news about Axel to them.

Axel raised an eyebrow and smirked. "I don't see me on a beach in broad daylight, do you?"

"Uh?" Well, if he didn't want to leave the house much, that was handy. Double oops, he hadn't thought about how his mom was going to react to a strange, visibly older boy in the house. Who'd periodically be making out with him. Ack.

"Red hair, pale skin, sunburn. Got it memorised?"

"You get sunburn? Mr you're on fire Mr gets sunburn?" Sora couldn't help giggling and the laughter just got worse when Axel glared.

"Fire and the sun are different things. For starters, one of them I can control, the other I can't. Where're your games, then?" Axel help up a finger, whether to stop Sora talking or himself it was hard to tell from the thoughtful expression. "And your bathroom?"

The fact that Axel technically didn't exist proved surprisingly useful across the fortnight. Eating for him seemed to be a hobby rather than a necessity, and he could pop in and out of existence as he liked, which was beyond handy for keeping him hidden. Riku had seemed a little suspicious at first that something was off but seemed to have let any worries of his slide after enough uneventful visits to the house - thanks in part to Sora and Roxas persuading Axel not to play any tricks on the other boy. Life was... not normal, thank god, but at least it wasn't completely crazy either apart from one mortifying moment when Sora had found his bedside cabinet filled with wholesale sized boxes of lube and condoms. He sure as anything didn't remember buying them, as himself or Roxas, and confronting Axel about it revealed that yes, they were stolen, and if he had something to say about it he'd have to do the shopping in future.

Roxas had yet to wake Sora up in the middle of anything worse than a make-out session, probably so as not to try his luck, and even if Sora still felt a bit weird about any not-kissing stuff it was nice enough. Funny too, in a silly way, seeing Axel head into the bathroom whenever a heavy make-out session had been interrupted. He probably ought to complain some way but... it didn't feel wrong, just a bit strange.

As though he wasn't used to strangeness in all its splendour.

Sora woke up mid one kissing session and found out that not only was he kissing back quite happily and easily, but Axel's kissing technique changed a little bit after a quick falter. There was something in that idea he liked, the idea of different kisses for him than for Roxas - and the way Axel held him was slightly different too. Less possessive.

Little things kept popping up in this weird, weird little relationship the three of them had that Sora hadn't expected - their different tastes, for example. Roxas like sea-salt ice cream, fair enough - they all did - but he also like olives and anchovies, which Sora hated. Axel and Roxas thought that was funny as anything though they'd only been cruel enough to order a pizza with all Sora's pet hate toppings and wake up in the middle of eating it once.

The CD player had, after a lot of debate, been given away to Riku. Too many arguments over taste and Sora really, really wasn't happy with Axel's method of acquiring new CDs - had bullied him into giving them back by holding night time sessions with Roxas to ransom. It was a strange, borderline domesticity.

Homework done for the third weekend, Sora had headed for his living room and slumped on the sofa, legs hanging over the edge as Axel dutifully handed the controller over once his character lost. It was quite a pleasant surprise when Axel pulled his shoes and socks off, throwing them away to stink up the other side of the room before starting to idly massage his feet while watching the game. Whoever invented foot rubs was clearly a saint, whoever taught Axel to do them the same. It was so easy to relax into the firm, confident touch, and he wasn't really concentrating on the game at all when a jolt of electric pleasure shot up his spine at Axel sucking on his big toe. Had Axel forgotten which of them he was giving the foot rub to?

Axel let that foot go, picking up the second and rubbing it firmly, smirk in his voice as he asked, "Like that, huh?"

"Uh," Sora began intelligently. "Yes."

Axel shifted so he could look up at Sora without straining his neck and smiled knowingly, wickedly, as he sucked on the second foot's big toe.

Having woken up to Roxas' reactions to Axel's ministrations before, Sora was pretty much familiar with arousal - just not... getting there. And, yeah. That was good.

Axel put the second foot down and turned to trap Sora's legs between his own, taking Sora's hands and stroking the palms with his thumbs. "Just in case you've not worked it out yet, I'm not the 'I've started so I've got to finish' type." Watching Axel's lips slip down his index finger pretty much silenced any complaints Sora might have come up with but the thought was appreciated. "Say no when it gets too weird."

Sora nodded, wondered briefly what 'too weird' could be defined as in his world before all his thoughts switched to Axel's mouth sucking - and licking and occasionally nipping this time too - each of his fingers in turn. And, yeah, he wasn't completely familiar with what was going on between his legs but he knew the basics and knew things Roxas had done, and he couldn't help thinking about Axel's mouth being... elsewhere. And that thought alone was making him blush like crazy.

Axel seemed to hesitate after the last finger as if deciding what to do next and pulled Sora down into his lap, character on the television screen driving merrily off a cliff while Axel lay back on the floor and brought Sora with him. It was all so new and different and just, just good, and rubbing against Axel while they kissed was seriously good too, and suddenly he completely understood why Roxas had wished repeatedly before they got Axel back that he'd done things like this face to face. Despite everything... no, that wasn't the word, it was... it was really surprising, but Axel was beautiful like this, looked vulnerable for once, the smart-assed comments gone out the window and Sora felt in his heart something for Axel that hadn't been put there by Roxas as he ground his hips against the red-haired man's, too shy to use his hands. He couldn't say "I love you", knew that was for Roxas to do, but saying Axel's name over and over as his body tensed up didn't feel like a lesser substitute. Axel's arms slid around his shoulders as he started jerking and held tight, stroking his hair and kissing away any sounds he made, and Sora only caught the tail-end of whatever Axel said before getting up unsteadily to head to the bathroom; "both of you".

Axel seemed decidedly more relaxed around the house after that incident; not carelessly so, but enough that he wasn't giving Sora five metres personal space in all directions half the time. In all fairness, keeping his distance from either of them wouldn't be that strange given he'd lost fights to both of them several times, but that said, his very existence seemed worrying tenuous. If remembering him had brought him back, none of them could afford to forget him - not when they knew his continuing to live might be dependent on memories.

Not so strange, then, for Sora to write Axel's name down wherever he could without it attracting the wrong sort of attention. Roxas didn't think it that smart given that when he'd started disappearing it wasn't just people that forgot him; photos he'd been in had... changed.

But Sora had no issues in living this co-dependent life. If he was living in a way geared to let his friends live, what better was there in the world? How could you top helping other people live as a purpose?

Besides, even if they weren't meant to exist, Roxas and Axel had. Did. And Sora could quite happily do most anything to keep Axel looking at them, both of them, like that.


Posted by: Lazuli (lazzchan)
Posted at: October 18th, 2007 09:07 pm (UTC)

*smiles happily as she contemplates this story*

Just...Oh. I loved this so very much--the balance of things, the way it shifted, just--it's really beautifully done and nice and just...<3 I loved it muchly. You hit on what I'd like to see between the three of them. XDD

Posted by: Emerald Embers (emerald_embers)
Posted at: October 20th, 2007 08:22 am (UTC)


Thank you so very much for the comment! I was so pleased with the way this one turned out, it just seemed to flow right, and it's awesome hearing that you liked it! <3

There really should be more Axel-Sora-Roxas happy ever after fics, seeing as we didn't get our happy ever after in the game ;).

Posted by: rain. (piogge)
Posted at: October 18th, 2007 09:52 pm (UTC)

I have to say, I do really agree lazzchan on this one. This is one amazing fic. I like the balance and the beautiful way to convey the motions let unsaid. It was pretty amazing.

Posted by: Emerald Embers (emerald_embers)
Posted at: October 20th, 2007 08:26 am (UTC)

Thank you so, so much for the comment. Everyone's been so nice in this community! I think this is probably the best story I've done for Kingdom Hearts so far, but I think I'll go ahead and post other things I've done. I was a little bit nervous beforehand but you guys are awesome!

Posted by: ✲ a few 𝖒𝔞𝖌𝔦𝖈 tricks ✲ (sira)
Posted at: October 18th, 2007 11:22 pm (UTC)
[KH] our hearts are there somewhere

Gorgeous flow; your style is incredibly nice and pleasing to read, if that makes any sense. It's a little like pretty scenic art. And the plot aspects itself - Sora sharing his body with Roxas (as he so would if he could and why doesn't that often more often?), Roxas and Axel deliberately plotting things against him, and just... Axel, who totally deserves a point himself. It was all very IC and very, very awesome.

And~ now that I'm done sounding semi-sophisticated, I'd like to say that you actually just turned me into a squeeing ball of fangirl mush. XD I loved it a lot. Totally mem'd. ♥♥♥♥~!

Posted by: ✲ a few 𝖒𝔞𝖌𝔦𝖈 tricks ✲ (sira)
Posted at: October 18th, 2007 11:24 pm (UTC)
[KH] fools! i will be king!

...*happen more often, because I swear me kno englishu. :|

Posted by: Emerald Embers (emerald_embers)
Posted at: October 20th, 2007 08:29 am (UTC)

Your icons? Are awesome. The first one is beautiful and this one made me pee a little giggling. (Not literally, thank god, but rest assured there was a lot of laughter going on)

Thank you so, so much for your comment! It was the nicest thing ever, I've not had comments on my actual writing *style* in forever and a day. Characterisation comments and the like, yeah, but it's so, so awesome hearing people like your writing style 'cause then it's like... whee.

My eloquence can go when I'm stupidly happy, as you might have noticed.

I just got the Kingdom Hearts writing bug recently with my brother replaying the game, and now I'm so glad I have, because you guys are awesome and I love you!


Posted by: ✲ a few 𝖒𝔞𝖌𝔦𝖈 tricks ✲ (sira)
Posted at: October 20th, 2007 07:19 pm (UTC)
[KH] ???? D:

Oh, I know, I completely adore those icons. :D I found them over at bisexualicons; there's a whole load of really great other ones.

I usually try to focus on writing styles (when I'm trying to say something about the fic rather than just flailing all over the place, that is) and it was pretty easy for yours because it stuck out as particularly nice. And I know what you mean - I mean, pretty much anyone can write the characters IC enough, but your style belongs to you only, so it's definitely something awesome to be complimented on. :)

Oooooh. Would I be misled in hoping that there will be much more wonderful KHfic to come~?

*hugs back!*

Posted by: Emerald Embers (emerald_embers)
Posted at: October 20th, 2007 09:25 pm (UTC)

I stole a few ;).

You are made of win, and you're quite right that there's more Kingdom Hearts fic coming :D. I've linked to my witchcraft AU recently, and I plan on posting the rather odd Axel/Reno in another day or so.

*cuddles you again in thanks*

Posted by: milky way (chesauroshin)
Posted at: October 19th, 2007 09:36 pm (UTC)

Oh man, this was just so, so good. With the Sora and the Roxas and the Axel and the everything.

Yes. Just yes.

Posted by: Emerald Embers (emerald_embers)
Posted at: October 20th, 2007 08:30 am (UTC)

:D :D :D :D :D!

*tacklehugs of love*

Thank you for the comment <3. I induced incoherency, YES! *pride*

Thank you very much!

Posted by: a lover, not a fighter (fabien_aybara)
Posted at: October 22nd, 2007 12:44 am (UTC)
Axel: Fight

*happy sigh*

This was the sort of fic that's written prettily. Which is actually a word...strange. But an-e-ways.

I loved it. It was beautiful and the relationships were beautiful and it was so incredibly IC that you deserve an award or something.

Really, a very special fic.

Posted by: Emerald Embers (emerald_embers)
Posted at: October 22nd, 2007 09:46 pm (UTC)


Thank you very, very much for the comment :). I'm so glad and relieved people liked this fic; it took me ages to get a proper handle on Sora but...

Well, anyway :). Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know you liked it, every review makes my day ^_^. *hugs*

Posted by: you there! yes you! wanna play a game? (roterhimmel)
Posted at: December 17th, 2008 09:51 pm (UTC)

Axel/Sora, even if it's actually kind of Axel/Roxas (because who can understand the stuff with No/Somebody REALLY) isn't really my thing but this was... gah. I liked it. Your characters were very well written as the story itself too and it makes me ridiculously happy. To get SUCH a reaction from someone with the OTPS Riku/sora and Axel/Roxas is quite... something, I think. So YAY for this fic! <3

Posted by: Emerald Embers (emerald_embers)
Posted at: December 17th, 2008 10:28 pm (UTC)

*huge hugs*

Thank you so much hon :D, reviewers like you are one in a million <3. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

15 Read Comments